Foolish Games

A new reality

It's 1am and for some reason I am still awake, though I have no good reason to be up - I haven't been doing anything productive for the last half hour or so.

Perhaps it is because I am in a reflective mood. Tonight, at Foundations (a course designed to help equip people for christian service), one session was called "participating in the process of redemption". We explored what happens in groups - specifically, why people's self-concepts tend to be reinforced in group settings. For example, why is that a person who feels, isolated tend to be isolated in group settings? Or, why is it that a person who most needs to be listened to tend to not be listened too? One key point is that we judge others based on their behaviour, as this is what we can see. We don't tend to take the effort to see behind the behaviour.

The course has been an excellent chance to reflect on things that have a real impact on people - relationships with God, with others, and with ourselves. And even though I have been exhausted the last couple of months and haven't committed enough time to further reflection, the sessions have still been worthwhile. At the moment I think the biggest challenge for me is to really look beyond myself and seek out the needs of those around me.

As for other parts of my life at the moment? Well, let's put it this way, in the last several weeks I think I've lost 3kg. This is still within normal fluctuations, but I'm not surprised that it's happened. I can truly say that I've never before worked as much for such a prolonged period of time as I have in the last couple of months.

This may shock people (or perhaps not, depending on what you know of me), but when doing my university entrance exams in NZ I would only really study for a couple of days per subject. Seriously, I don't remember being locked in my room all night for a month. This would probably explain my less than spectacular results.

My point is that I think I am making up for lost time, since I've been seriously underproductive for more than the last decade. Unfortunately, instead of getting things done quicker as I become more experienced, I've been getting slower through plain tiredness. You know that you're approaching limits when you can feel muscles in your body telling you to rest.

Anyway, my mind's really starting to shut down, so, again, I must say adieu for now.

posted by Son @ 01:05