Foolish Games

Reflecting upon 2006 - Part I

I'm not really sure where to start in thinking about 2006. I think in many ways it was an eventful year for me, yet at the same time a predominant theme was that of patience. This is not to say that I learnt patience, rather, that patience was required of me. I spent a great portion of the year waiting.

Well, my first wait was about 3 or 4 months. I don't recall exactly. I know I'm being oblique about it, and that many of you can probably guess the theme of what I'm referring to, but I really can't tell you any details. Suffice it to say that the wait was not pleasant. I don't like prolonging pain (despite constantly procrastinating when it comes to things like assignments and stuff).

However, God was good to me, and kept me busy. And not just busy, he helped me to become more like a member of the family at the church I'm a part of. It had taken more than 2 years, but now I feel more content and at ease with Canberra and the people here. I suppose it's no surprise that it took so long, as I'm not an easy person to get along with, and it takes me a while connect in some way to people. My relationships with people will always require a lot of work, but at least the groundwork is there. For this I am thankful, and also for the opportunities I was given to serve in 2006.

Now I recall that at the start of the year I had a strong inclination to move back to Sydney. I made a commitment to Canberra for the year, and to consider my circumstances again at the end of the year. By the second half of the year I was content to stay in Canberra for the short-medium term, and I haven't needed to re-evaluate. The long term is not something I plan very much for - I know how unexpected the paths we walk become. Only God knows what is to happen in the future.

So, back to the 'waiting'. I guess what I'm referring to relates to my job. For large portions of the year I was 'waiting' at work - I struggled to concentrate, wasn't as productive as I could have been, and was restless. It is surprising to me that the people I work with have been happy with the work I do, because I have felt very inefficient and unproductive for large periods of the year.

Why does it frequently seem like I am waiting? I think this has to do with an underlying disconnect between who I think I am, and the situations I find myself in. An example of this is my work, where I think there’s a disconnect between what I think I’d be suited to, and the job I’m actually in.

Or maybe it seems like I’m waiting because I have the very human tendency to be dissatisfied and discontented with what I have, while always wanting something ‘better’. For me perhaps I’m constantly waiting for that loving wife, that interesting job, that free time, that exciting event, and so on and so forth. In being this way it can be very easy to miss the beautiful things that God has blessed us in our everyday lives.

I think that I could also be constantly ‘waiting’ because there’s always that yearning for what is missing in this world – heaven. Maybe it’s because life is such a struggle, and because sin and its misery are so entrenched in this world, that I am yearning for the peace of heaven. And I don’t think this is just me. Perhaps we all know that something isn’t quite right in this world and are yearning for what is missing. And this is why we should pray:

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be thy name,
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven…

Because God’s kingdom will sate our cravings, filling in the missing pieces of our lives. It’s not that God isn’t active in this world, but how much more glorious would it be when His kingdom arrives in all its majesty?

Do you yearn for heaven? I know I do at times, but there's still plenty to do with the time I have been given on this earth first.

posted by Son @ 01:32