Foolish Games

Facilitating Agent

Dissociation - it's a word I've used before to describe my state in this world; a state of disconnection and remoteness. In contemplating life recently a slightly different perspective occurred to me - facilitation.

Facilitation is where an activity, such as a project or task, is made easier or more efficient through a facilitating agent (whether a person or otherwise). This facilitating agent is not invested in the activity, and is not directly involved in the activity. That is, it is not integrated or integral to the activity - it is an externality that never fully engages in the activity or the activity's participants.

The crux of it all? A facilitating agent is a useful tool, but a tool nonetheless.

It is a measure of my dissociation from the world and those around me that I would identify myself as a facilitating agent. My actions and my relationships with even those close to me at times seem limited to this role. Rather than operating as part of a coherent whole, I fear that my path has largely been unintegrated with those around me. I would hope that the influence of my actions has and continues to be useful in the lives of others, but for the time being this ocean of dissociation that separates me from integration and intimacy with my fellow human beings prevents me from beaching upon that distant, sun-drenched shore.

If the warm sun never shone again,
through this hazy, shadow-filled land,
If light never pierces the gloom again,
through the dark and wearied soul.

If all else were passing splendour,
nought but fool's gold and dust,
If all this wasting flesh shed bare,
revealed corruption and disease.

I would dream once more, dear friend,
dream.

posted by Son @ 15:43