Foolish Games

Quick Update

Came across this on a friend's blog:
"Why have the white guys taken all the girls from the asian guys?"

It's quite long, about 15minutes, but if you have broadband access it's quite funny =P

So, what has Son been up to? I'm not exactly sure how, but it's May already... and I've been a strange state for the last several weeks. Perhaps it is a measure of an increased trust in God that I have not been living in a state of anxiety, for my immediate and intermediate future is as uncertain as it has ever been. I guess the fact that I haven't had large blocks of time to myself is a factor as well.

Anyway, I finally managed to have a housewarming of sorts (over a week ago now), inviting over the youth group kids and a few others. I made curry for the first time, using my mum's recipe (which I haven't tasted for a while, since I'm away from home). Got a bit worried about numbers partway through I made two pots, which turned out well, with one being turned into a spicier version. Was nice having 20 odd people in the house =) Somehow everyone got fed.

And over two weeks ago was our church camp, which was both enjoyable and encouraging. The talks were on "Knowing God and Making Him Known". The first talk was the one that made me think the most. One point was that often we look for the good things, for the blessings, that God can give us, rather than seeking God himself.

These 5 principles in seeking God I found very useful:

1. Reflect on where you are in your life with God - come before God honestly, and pretend about nothing. We tend not to be so good at this with our busy lives.

2. Recognise the fork in the road. When faced with a situation when things can go 2 ways, you can either: 1) use all your own strenth to fight for what you want, or 2) turn to God and ask Him to show you what He wants of you at that point.

3. Refocus your goals - have to admit what have been the passions in our life in order to do this.

4. Realise what God provides as a means for/of grace. God's plan is to bring us closer to Him, and His grace is poured out again and again in order to achieve this - even in a tragedy can God work His grace. Greatest act of grace is Jesus crucified.

5. Re-orient your prayer life to match this way of living (i.e. a way of life that is seeking God). If we live to know God we will pray a different way. Present yourself to God as you are. Attend to where you notice God's presence and absence. Purge yourself of whatever might be keeping yourself from knowing of noticing more about God. Approach God with confidence and abandonment.

The point that really stuck in my mind is number 2, about choosing to turn to God, as opposed to trying to use my own strength and will to figure something out. And I think God is trying to tell me something by putting me in my current predicament - where all the major parts of my life are uncertain, and I am unsure of which direction to take. This "mess" ought to frighten me, and it does, but there is a sense of peace I have in knowing I am in God's hands.

A week ago I also got to catch up with Jenny. We spent a large part of the day wandering around the city - the main purchases being some cheap CDs. Caught up with YY as well, and farewelled Helen for a year. I feel like I'm travelling from one event/scenario to the next... and now here I am, with just a couple of weeks left to do something I should have completed about 2 months ago... not to mention something else I should have finished in December! >.< The backlog of things to do has been building up in part due to procrastination and lack of motivation, in part due to more pressing concerns and requirements of my time, and in part due to a need to frequently rest (i.e. waste time) and do things that are more appealing (e.g. play cards, games (though I've restricted computer games to some old arcade type games... for I know that the whole stack of RPG and strategy games I would like to play would eat up a few months at least).

hmm... so much for the quick update.

I'll try and write a more sensible post in a couple of weeks. Hopefully there'll be some more clarity then.

Take care.

posted by Son @ 00:21