5 Weird things about Son...
Nay's asked me to play this game, and well, I'm definitely weird enough for at least 5 things =P
1. I've developed some obsessive compulsive symptoms, most noticeably to do with locking doors (though I'm pedantic about a few other things too)... I will try the handle several times to make sure it's locked, and it takes a concerted effort to accept the fact that it's locked. Could partially be to do with my short-term memory, because I can be unsure if I've locked something even seconds later. Some people will have especially noticed my car-door locking antics... but it extends to my home door and safes at work >.<
2. I talk to myself... usually to confirm my own thoughts or analysis, and occasionally on a whim. The other times are when I'm angry with myself and berate my own stupidity or foolishness.
3. I have "double-jointed" thumbs.
4. I've never had chicken pox, even though both my siblings had it while I was living at home.
5. I'll leave this one for you to decide. What do you think is one weird thing about Son?
Would love to hear about your weird self too =)
China White
Here's a couple of pics I took earlier today. I guess the most noticeable new development is the paint, which is "China White" (I'm guessing it's referring to the crockery, not the country). Not sure how much longer, but guessing about 3 weeks 'til practical completion, then possibly a few weeks to sort out handover and flooring before I can move in.
Obviously this is the kitchen, and you can see the granite countertop, though covered by all that stuff, and the section that was cut out for the sink.
And this is looking across the living room from the kitchen.
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Has been a painful week at work (and I don't mean physically), but I learnt a lot. This coming week is my last one in Budget Group though, and I'm moving over to the Superannuation Policy Branch, which I hope will be interesting.
Had a net session yesterday (cricket), as I'm planning on joining a cricket team this season =) And today I'm aching all over, due to using muscles that I rarely use... am so unfit >.<
Was a good youth fellowship last night. Is always encouraging to spend time sharing in the Bible with others, and the kids are so energetic and so enthusiastic =) Not sure that I was ever like that, but am definitely not now...
Well, I guess you could say a lot is happening, with the house, work and in a few weeks time our youth fellowship camp =) ...and the US Open (tennis) is starting... though not on free-to-air =(
That's all my "housekeeping" done for now... take care.
Hollow Lives
The depthless expanse of the sky at night,
when the dark clouds recede and the stars remain,
remind me of my current state,
a mind in confusion, turmoil
—my soul empty, a void reflected up above.
The stars they shine, pinpricks of hope to those who believe.
To me their light shines dim,
filtered through layers of dark sorrow,
illuminating the land in shades of desolation
—all life is bleak.
This land I see is awash with despair,
our lives nothing if not hollow.
This was my first real poem, and remains my favourite - the only one I consider as true poem (for I am a writer rather than a poet). Even though it was written 8 years ago, when I was but 16, it has largely escaped the revision I have just subjected it to.
As you can probably tell, I wasn't a very happy chap at the time. As bleak as it is, I think this represents our true existence if we live without God - there is no hope, no light, no life. Rather, we are but empty and lost souls.
Sometimes, I still feel this emptiness in the heart, as I live in this fallen world, but now I have a real hope, a genuine purpose, for we are all created in the image of God.
Love Games
I ask you this: what silly things have you done out of love or infatuation? You know what I'm talking about - inexplicable things, irrational things, things you look back on and think, "What was I thinking?"
To start things off, here's an example from my own adventures:
- Giving a girl a small flower and asking her to place it behind her ear (that's a most awkward phrase: "This is for you, for behind your ear" or something ridiculous like that). Would have been much better to place it there myself! (Assuming I wasn't slapped in the process.)
There have been a few other incidents where my air-headedness (due to infatuation) has lead me to cause (minor) damage to my car, or where I've rambled on stupidly about some random thing... er... hang on, that's just me normally >.< (And the lame jokes I make occur in ALL situations =P) What about grinning like an idiot about nothing in particular? I can't really think of much else, because I've probably done more stupid things than silly things and am rather inexperienced in these matters. Apparently I skipped after someone, but I know I didn't, because I clearly remember what I did during the incident.
I'll try and think up some more, but for now, I leave the floor to you =)
Circle of Life
People have noted before how the human lifecycle has a certain symmetry. For example: you grow as a child, peak for a while, then start shrinking in old age; you start without teeth and progress to solid foods, and in old age lose your teeth and revert to less solid foods; you start off hair impaired, grow hairier, and then start losing it all again; you start off life being very dependent on others, becoming less so over the years, until again, you need people to look after you all the time... and so the list could go on I'm sure.
Why am I going on about this? No, it's not because I'm having a mid-life crisis due to my age (I know I'm starting to frequently point out that I'm old, but that's just in jest - quite frankly, I see being old as being closer to God, in that there's less time on this earth). No, rather, I'm discovering how much more important sleep is to me. So it goes something like this: as a baby you spend hours and hours happily asleep, spending more time awake as you grow up until you're a teenager and uni student, when you easily spend all night playing games or cramming for exams (I was very much of the latter persuasion, procrastinating for just about any decent sized assignment as well as exams). And then? Well, I've been feeling it for a few years now, but staying up late just isn't as easy as it used to be, and a good night's sleep is just appreciated so much more. In due course I'm sure I'll be regularly sleeping before midnight again, and not out of discipline, but necessity (yes, I'm currently a bit of night owl, feeling that sleeping before midnight is a waste of usable time).
I'm probably bringing this up now because I stayed up longer than I should have watching the cricket and consequently the subsequent day has felt a little less bearable. I guess it doesn't help that I may be developing a cold (bit of a sore throat) >.< On the topic of cricket, it's been a strange Ashes series - for one, I've actually been supporting Australia (I know, I'm supposedly a dual NZ/Aust. citizen, but supporting Australian sporting teams is normally something I don't do).
Random musings
I had a job interview today. It wasn't of vital importance, as I've accepted a transfer already, and because of timing I doubt that I could accept this position. And yet, partway through the interview I got nervous. My face started feeling warm, and I found it hard to perform the simple task of taking a drink from a cup. I didn't fall apart, but it was a far from brilliant performance. It's interesting how the physiological responses to innate fear or uncomfortability (ok, "discomfort" would be a better word) can override rational thought. I'm generally not a nervous person, but I don't like being under the spotlight. Which is strange, since while I prefer being in the background, I also love attention. Anyway, I guess it's no surprise that I'm a socially awkward person =P
More generally, I'm wondering if I'm becoming a little more "frazzled" than usual, and if I can attribute it to old age? Is my vacant brain a sign of old age? What about the slow responses I have to what is going on around me? hahaha... don't worry, I'm not going senile yet... just musing. Besides, all of the above is not new to me and have been with me for years >.<
Which brings me to the question: am I really a rational person? In the interview I got asked about the difference between conceptual thinking and analytical thinking. I didn't really know which I was more inclined towards, but settled upon "analytical" due to my legal training and attention to detail. However, now that I think about it, I'm also very conceptual - I hate rote learning, and remember best when I understand a concept rather than strict details. I can also be rather vague, abstract and philosophical (not to mention a little waffly at times... like now). Further evidence is my writing, which is normally founded on inspiration in the way of an idea, concept or theme that wish to explore. Do you remember in primary school teacher's talking about "a stream of consciousness"? I love that concept, having lived by it all these years.
hmm... you know the short story I linked to a couple of days ago? Well, the original idea was to explore... doh, struggling to recall now >.< I think it stemmed from the idea of memory and sentimentality, and how seemingly unimportant little details are treasured. So the ending was what I was looking for, and how I got there just flowed. In the end, the main idea I meant to explore became overlooked because the story flowed in a different direction. As the for the revised version? Well, the new ending was written in fun and a wash of sentimentality and romance over any real substance.
I realise that I have no point to all this rambling, so, I'll just stop right HERE.
Happy Birthday...
...to Jenn! =) My friend Jenn, has aged just then. When? Just then! Is she ten? No!
hehehe... more seriously though, she's managed to keep me somewhat sane and out of trouble for the last several years. She's carried the burden well, so thank you Jenn =)
Trust we place in friends
Those who know us well
Our deepest fears
Doubting voices we hear
Yet by love they lead
Heavy burdens made light
A blessing in this walk
So we may rejoice together
When the sun shines once more
Shnow!
Much to my surprise it snowed today! Only for a few minutes at a time, and I guess you might call it sleet, because it was very light and pretty much melted when it hit the ground. So, definitely couldn't build snowmen or throw snowballs, but quite pwetty seeing it fall down. Lucky for me, it was falling when I walked to the car after work, so I stood around for a while watching it... though my ears were freezing =P
Only the second time I've seen snow - the first time when skiing at Perisher. On the down side, I might just freeze tonight in this icebox I currently call home =P
A Story... and a half
Howdy folks.... I now have a new kitchen! ...well, sort of...
Just a few weeks more...
Anyway, how is everyone? I've mostly been meandering my way through the weeks, waiting to move, both house and job (I'm getting an internal transfer). Haven't been to Sydney for a couple of months and am itching a little to visit, but will be another couple of months I think before I make a trip there.
I mentioned a couple of months that I had written a new short story. In fact, it was the first completed story I had written since high school (so about a seven year gap). I showed the story to a few friends, and one response was that it was not "happy" enough! This despite my preference for tragedies. So, to try something different, I rewrote the ending. The result was almost sickenly "happy"... (and haven't dared yet to read it again)... but it was fun to write and a most unusual (different ) piece for me. I'll let you judge for yourself. I'd recommend reading the original first, then the revised version. Hope you enjoy the read. Let me know what you think.
Why?
Those that have been visiting my website during the last year and a half might be wondering why I've "moved".
I've moved from my own website to a conventional blog for a number of reasons. Primarily though, I've realised that the format of a website is less suited than a blog for the type of content that I wish to publish. The site was in many ways an experiment, a hobby project and a unplanned. Rather than a true "web" of content that is a website, I now wish simply to have an online journal, and so this is a more appropriate tool for this purpose. Other reasons are: a chance to start "anew" (with design and direction), having learnt from experimenting with the site first (and too lazy and unskilled to design a more attractive page); slightly easier posting of entries; an easier url to remember and enter (though this is more of a positive side-effect than a reason).
You can still hop over the
old site for my most recent post (a few days ago). Maybe you're nolstagic and want a last look? =P However, I've already trimmed it down after trying to fix up a few upload glitches recently.
Anyway, I intend to post more frequently now. Previously I ended up writing articles/essays (which explains the infrequent updates), and though I can assure you that you'll still see the occasional more serious post, I'll try and be a little more entertaining =P
As always, I invite you to keep me company with your thoughts and conversation. I look forward to sharing my time with you.
Regards,
Son =)+<
