Foolish Games

Random musings

I had a job interview today. It wasn't of vital importance, as I've accepted a transfer already, and because of timing I doubt that I could accept this position. And yet, partway through the interview I got nervous. My face started feeling warm, and I found it hard to perform the simple task of taking a drink from a cup. I didn't fall apart, but it was a far from brilliant performance. It's interesting how the physiological responses to innate fear or uncomfortability (ok, "discomfort" would be a better word) can override rational thought. I'm generally not a nervous person, but I don't like being under the spotlight. Which is strange, since while I prefer being in the background, I also love attention. Anyway, I guess it's no surprise that I'm a socially awkward person =P

More generally, I'm wondering if I'm becoming a little more "frazzled" than usual, and if I can attribute it to old age? Is my vacant brain a sign of old age? What about the slow responses I have to what is going on around me? hahaha... don't worry, I'm not going senile yet... just musing. Besides, all of the above is not new to me and have been with me for years >.<

Which brings me to the question: am I really a rational person? In the interview I got asked about the difference between conceptual thinking and analytical thinking. I didn't really know which I was more inclined towards, but settled upon "analytical" due to my legal training and attention to detail. However, now that I think about it, I'm also very conceptual - I hate rote learning, and remember best when I understand a concept rather than strict details. I can also be rather vague, abstract and philosophical (not to mention a little waffly at times... like now). Further evidence is my writing, which is normally founded on inspiration in the way of an idea, concept or theme that wish to explore. Do you remember in primary school teacher's talking about "a stream of consciousness"? I love that concept, having lived by it all these years.

hmm... you know the short story I linked to a couple of days ago? Well, the original idea was to explore... doh, struggling to recall now >.< I think it stemmed from the idea of memory and sentimentality, and how seemingly unimportant little details are treasured. So the ending was what I was looking for, and how I got there just flowed. In the end, the main idea I meant to explore became overlooked because the story flowed in a different direction. As the for the revised version? Well, the new ending was written in fun and a wash of sentimentality and romance over any real substance.

I realise that I have no point to all this rambling, so, I'll just stop right HERE.

posted by Son @ 17:51