Facilitating Agent
Dissociation - it's a word I've used before to describe my state in this world; a state of disconnection and remoteness. In contemplating life recently a slightly different perspective occurred to me - facilitation.
Facilitation is where an activity, such as a project or task, is made easier or more efficient through a facilitating agent (whether a person or otherwise). This facilitating agent is not invested in the activity, and is not directly involved in the activity. That is, it is not integrated or integral to the activity - it is an externality that never fully engages in the activity or the activity's participants.
The crux of it all? A facilitating agent is a useful tool, but a tool nonetheless.
It is a measure of my dissociation from the world and those around me that I would identify myself as a facilitating agent. My actions and my relationships with even those close to me at times seem limited to this role. Rather than operating as part of a coherent whole, I fear that my path has largely been unintegrated with those around me. I would hope that the influence of my actions has and continues to be useful in the lives of others, but for the time being this ocean of dissociation that separates me from integration and intimacy with my fellow human beings prevents me from beaching upon that distant, sun-drenched shore.
If the warm sun never shone again,through this hazy, shadow-filled land,If light never pierces the gloom again,through the dark and wearied soul.If all else were passing splendour,nought but fool's gold and dust,If all this wasting flesh shed bare,revealed corruption and disease.I would dream once more, dear friend,dream.
Be a Man
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.-1 Corinthians 13:11
Did anyone tell you I am a moody person? Those who I have met relatively recently in my life may have missed that memo -
Psst! Be careful with Son, he's a moody one! That I have experienced God's love in my life has tempered the temperamental disposition somewhat. Even within the chaotic milieu that is my emotional and situational state there has increasingly been an amazing sense of peace and contentment as I have learnt to trust the Lord more.
Some of those who knew me in prior days probably still hold an anachronistic impression of me - predominantly quiet, brooding and serious. And then there are those who have only seen the cheeky and silly side of me that seems to dominate these days. But the darkness remains.
I have learnt not to regret the past, but I understand how deeply history shapes all of us. The question is
how our past shapes us. Quite obviously, growth is good. What isn't good is if you are held back by your past, if you are clinging to unhelpful habits or destructive tendencies.
You now probably have an idea of why I've quoted the particular Bible verse at the start of this entry. It is a verse that was quoted in a sermon I listened to last night. It was actually a sermon about courtship, and a man's role in courtship. (A working definition of 'courtship' is that is a process that is looking towards marriage, whereas 'dating' in today's world doesn't necessarily have that purpose.)
One of the key messages I took from the sermon was: be a man, or become a man. Now, at least within my circle of friends there has been wide circulation of a comedy routine of a guy called Russell Peters. At one point in his routine, in a Chinese accent, he says, "Be a man". So, along other particular humerous parts of this routine, some of my friends have been using that particular phrase (with a Chinese accent of course). We've all been saying that as a bit of a lark, a bit of fun, but it's true, what a lot of boys these days need to do is "be a man".
So what does it mean to be a man? What childish ways are we to put behind us? In this confused world, where God's created order has been reversed, it is sexist and politically incorrect to talk about the man's role, and the woman's role, in a marriage. Instead, both women and men are apparently meant to work out between them what the role of each is. The problem is that we confuse equality with sameness. That is, the thinking is that we are all to be treated the same, because this is equality. Well, that isn't God's view. He created both man and woman, and there is equality because both are created in God's image. However, we weren't created to be the same.
I know I haven't directly addressed the issue of what is means to be a man. My thoughts aren't clear enough to commit to paper at this point. I do think that I have a lot of work to do become a man, that in many respects I am still a boy. However, I do encourage you to listen to the talks on courtship.
Here's a intro from my friend Alan, who posted these talks on Multiply (thanks Alan):
"Mark is a preacher from Mars Hill Church in Seattle. Awesome sermons that are hilarious, encouraging, and biblical!! These sermons especially, on courtship/dating, are a good biblical guide for people thinking about these sorts of things. Listen to them in the car, on the train, at home, with your spouse, dog, parents, neighbours, just listen to them!!!!!!!
you can also check out his church website with HEAPS of resources and MP3s at www.marshillchurch.org"
Ok, so you don't have to log on to Multiply and become Alan's contact to download the talks, go to
http://media.marshillchurch.org/Then follow in the menu: sermons, practical topics, marriage. Then under the heading "Courtship", click on "go to downloads". I listened to the talks by Mark Driscoll. The first talk is split into 2 MP3s, and is more focussed on women, and the second talk is more focussed on men. However, both are practical and beneficial for both men and women (and boys and girls).
Ok, enough from me. Take care my friends.
