Friday, June 16, 2006

Denial

Ya know what occurred to me today? (Not that it's a new thought, just that it popped into my head again.) It would be a lot easier if I didn't worry about what happens to me, if my self interest were banished - to "deny thyself". After all, I should have learnt by now that happiness is a transient state while in this body, on this earth. "Happily ever after" is for fairytales. Who am I to think that I deserve anything more than the misery of my own psychotic mind for company?

If I am bleak, it is the remnants of my old self being laid to rest - the death of dreams, and the laying aside of forlorn hope.

This time I won't apologise for my dark words. If I am a disappointment it is to myself and to God. To everyone else I am but a shadow, a whisper, a mist - all burnt away by the harshness of daylight.

Tortured Soul

Wading in darkness,
surrounded by night.
Traipsing through winter,
no summer in sight.
The brightness of day,
shaded pale and wan.
Reveals but a shell,
not the soul of a man.

Eyes of hard granite,
cold burnished steel.
Reflects the depths within,
life tied beneath the wheel.
What was is gone,
bright fiery flame dimmed.
Just a body and a mind,
with eyes tear-rimmed.

Soon the darkness will overwhelm,
hope’s feeble light diminished.
Denied both rest and solace,
still, as yet,
he is not finished…

posted by Son @ 01:12 3 comments

Fragile Heart

If u want my heart
U have 2 promise not 2 tear it apart
'Cause my heart
Has been hurt a lot
And it always seems
Love is not sweet, like in dreams
Something falls through...

...So be
Careful, warning
Fragile heart...

- Extract from Jewel Kilcher's "Fragile Heart"

posted by Son @ 01:03 0 comments

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Uninspired

Hello to anyone left here. I know I've been a bit laconic of late. I've been rather busy, but mostly the lack of posts is due to a lack of inspiration. That is, there is nothing I have wanted to write on. Sure, I can tell you about some of the everyday sort of things, but that would not only bore you, but me as well.

One interesting event was last night, Queen's Birthday holiday, where I got to let off some fireworks with a few others (in Canberra you can buy fireworks for the Queen's Birthday weekend). In New Zealand, when I was a lot younger, fireworks for Guy Fawke's Day was something to look forward to every year... but then firecrackers were banned, then skyrockets, and for several years now I think all fireworks are banned, just like in Australia (except for Canberra). I wasn't surprised to discover, when shopping for fireworks, that only groundworks were being sold (no skyrockets). Unfortunately no crackers either. Still, since it's probably been over a decade since I last celebrated Guy Fawke's Day in NZ, it was fun, especially as two of people with me had never let fireworks off before.

And one thing to look forward to: skiing or snowboarding next month =) Only my 2nd trip to the snow.

Well, that's all for now, perhaps until inspiration finds me once more.

posted by Son @ 13:29 0 comments

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Romance...

I disown thee - thou art but a fraud, a fanciful imagining of a flighty mind. What art thou but a hollow spectre, given birth from the deceptive wellspring that is sentimentality. Begone foul apparition and leave me be lest I am to become bereft of all sanity. Dreaded bete noire, hauntress of the dark recesses of my mind, usurper of sensibility and tormentor-in-chief, I banish thee henceforth. I bid thee adieu - though this parting doth lend itself to sorrow, it is not of the saccharine sort. Though thou wouldst rend my soul asunder, farewell, my misconceived shadow.

posted by Son @ 18:16 3 comments